Labetalol and Ovulation.

Labetalol. 200mg 2 times a day. I read up on it, and apparently this is given to women who suffer with high blood pressure late in pregnancy. The only side effect to worry about it the possibility of asthma attacks IF I have asthma. No worries here because I don't have asthma. I am a walking medicine cabinet. My purse has my blood pressure medication, 3 kinds of vitamins, and a bottle with Ibuprofen and Tylenol. Lucky for me I haven't had any sort of headache or pain that requires Ibuprofen since the cramping.

So far, so good. If I could just stop worrying about being on medication, I think this should work out fine. Let's hope, anyway.

I ovulated this weekend. I am not even trying to get pregnant until after I see my next period, but I feel like I wasted some good eggs, lol. It's actually quite empowering to know I have control over my body to some extent. I am just wondering if the fact that I ovulated (I know this because of the ovulation pain and CM, but I am not 100% sure of course) means that my luteal phase is going to be the same as it was before the miscarriage. If so, I can expect my period in about 14-16 days. I bought a CBEFM so I don't miss an opportunity in the next few months. I really want to be pregnant for my husband's birthday in June to the point where I am beginning to become obsessed.


:::

I saw my friend over the weekend. She's been pretty good about the miscarriage. She hasn't said anything ignorant like, "oh you'll get pregnant when the time is right". But she was telling me about some vitamins I should be taking (which I am taking). And then she continues to tell me how she never even took the prenatal vitamins longer than a month with each of her kids because they made her sick. "I guess there was nothing I needed in them since they made me so sick."

Uh huh. But this is a person who will imagine herself getting pregnant and she has a baby in her arms 9 months later. My husband told me not to "hate on" her because her life situation is not one I want anyway. He asked me, "would you trade places with her?"

Not at all, not ever. There's a very long list of reasons. It doesn't stop me from envying her fertility.


:::

My former coworker just emailed me that she is expecting a baby girl in June. This is a chick that was living with her first child's father since they've started dating. Her daughter is really sweet and I think she is a fine mom to her. But I judge her because they decided to not be married so he can collect welfare for the family. She was so angry with him one Christmas because he never told her he was approved for food stamps. She could have used the money she spent on groceries doing Christmas shopping.


EVERYONE ELSE gets to have a baby but not me. WHAT THE HELL! My birthday is in two days. I really wanted to have a baby in my 31st year, and that didn't happen because we just weren't ready. When we found out I was pregnant, I was so happy that I was at least pregnant in my 31st year. Now that that hasn't come to fruition, I feel like time is slipping away because I wanted to be financially secure. Did I make a mistake by not thinking of being married and having a baby years ago? I know I didn't. My brain is rational and it was a wise decision not to get married and have baby just for the sake of getting it out of the way at a younger age. But still. Time is not on my side.